


Hardcore Hijinks

by YacheBerries



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), NormalBoots, PBG Hardcore series
Genre: Gen, M/M, also this may follow little continuity in terms of updates, and a lot of season 4, but nothing will be extrapolated beyond what can be interpreted from certain scenes and moments, rewrites of my favorite scenes from the hardcore series, shipping may happen..., tags will be added for players as they show up across the various seasons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 13:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11990643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YacheBerries/pseuds/YacheBerries
Summary: Various oneshots and drabbles based off of PeanutButterGamer's Hardcore series.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer, first of all, just to clear some things out of the way. Feel free to skip.

First off, thank you for choosing to read this silly series I'm starting.

I'm a huge fan of PBG's Hardcore series, and I wish to pay it my respects!

\--

A few things to keep in mind before you read:

\- I won't follow each singular event to a 'T'. I will take some aspects and quotes from them, but only when I see fit.

-Most of these one-shots are going to be my own personal retellings of certain events and circumstances the hardcore crew went through.

-The personalities I will display for the characters will be mostly based off of their characteristics in the HC series opposed to their YouTube/irl personalities.

-The universe of the game they inhabit will include their normal selves, with headsets to communicate. They will be dressed up as whatever character skin they used/have for that season.

-Interactions and relationships are NOT a direct reflection of how they interact in real life. While I do ship some of them together, keep in mind, whatever ships I do hint at and write about are not supposed to reflect the real people in any way. I ship them in the context of the game universe they inhabit.

-If you want to suggest certain events from certain seasons you want me to write about, go ahead! I'd love some ideas.

-There might be a lot of Dean. He's my favorite.

\--

I hope you enjoy!


	2. Spelunking Buddy (MC HC 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While the professor and the anime nerd have their adventures in the cave, they take a moment to themselves to just talk with little ridicule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place around Episode 9 and 10 of Minecraft Hardcore, Season 1.

It wasn't tiring as much as it was exhausting.

McJones sighed, both struggling to keep his headset on straight and mining the blocks of stone in front of him. The diamond pickaxe made quick work of the grey, blocky material, however meticulous the maneuvers were. The exhaustion felt by the professor was more-so brought on by the ever-present potential of death, whether from mobs, a surprise vein of lava, or a careless strike from Dean.

"Hey, McJones, how's the crystal pick? Is it still alive?" Dean's voice rang from his headset. The pair were mere blocks apart in the mineshaft they carved, and yet Dean still felt the need to use his static-sounding headset to communicate.

While Dean's incompetence concerning some of the mechanics of Minecraft had grated on McJones at first, now, inaccurate statements and basic questions were honestly amusing considering the stakes. McJones didn't respond right away, wondering if he should respond with an actual, casual answer, or tease Dean for underestimating the durability of the diamond pickaxe and calling one of the flagship tools of Minecraft a completely incorrect name.

Jon took the opportunity in a millisecond.

"I can tell you with great certainty, Dean, that the crystal...oh shit, I mean  **DIAMOND** pickaxe Stewart  _literally_  just started using is completely trashed." Jon said smugly. Austin tried to stifle a giggle, but unsubtly allowed the other four to hear it quite clearly.

"To be fair, I've always considered calling it a 'Carbon Pickaxe'," Barry mused quietly, eliciting loud laughs from Austin and Jon.

McJones smiled to himself as he could hear Dean beginning to fume. "Y'all, I'm trying to mine here, so I don't have any time to pull up some Minecraft dictionary to try and not sound like an idiot for two seconds. I was just asking McJones a question, jeez..." A few blocks away from where McJones was mining, stone blocks began to break at a very even and deliberate pace.

"How noble; how very brave!" Jon began to say in a poetic and bold voice. "The most inexperienced among us is not shy to admit his stupidity!"

"I hope not," Dean muttered. "Good to know that y'all are being productive up there, runnin' around, insulting me..."

"We are being productive!" Austin whined. A loud chicken cluck and the  _whoosh_ of a sword was heard over the headset. "I just killed a chicken!"

Barry's side of the conversation glitched for a second. "- **j** U **s** t Fe **l** l  **d** own a hill."

McJones heard the sound of mining cease beside him, as Dean gave out a long, exasperated sigh.

"Hey, guys, guys, let's be productive, alright?" Jon said giddily. "Let's read a Minecraft dictionary, alright? To become more knowledgeable. I'm sure it exists, to help the  _noobs_." As soon as the word "noobs" was said, a loud click was heard, signaling Dean's disconnection from the verbal conversation.

"That sounds like a fantastic idea!" Austin's cheerful voice chimed in, but he dropped in tone when he realized the absence. "Aw, Dean disconnected, that sucks..."

Smiling to himself, McJones paused mining and dialed down the volume for the conversation on his headset, as the giddiness in Jon's and Austin's voices were raising an ear-bleeding pitch.

" _Steeeewart..._ " an exasperated whine rang from the mineshaft, McJones looking up from his headset. Dean swung around the corner of cobblestone, as the two shafts they had been digging were about three blocks apart. He was haphazardly eating a cooked steak while leaning against the cobblestone, his dark hair matted and hanging in his face, armor temporarily off. The Haseo skin he currently donned looked pretty ridiculous, with the midriff and tattoos and all, but the settling irritation in Dean's voice stopped McJones from pointing it out.

"Yes, Dean?" McJones responded, turning back around to begin mining again.

Dean muttered something to himself before speaking up. "Do you mind if we... take a break? Just for a few minutes.

McJones looked up quizzically. "An odd request, but sure."

Shuffling forward, Dean looked down awkwardly. "M'kay, thanks, bro. I just wanted to talk to you about something."

McJones raised an eyebrow as he set down two blocks of cobblestone for the pair to sit on. "Let's rest here, at the end of my mineshaft, so we can look out for mobs down the hallway," he explained, sitting on one of the rocky blocks.

Dean nodded, looking more than happy to do so, and placing torches on either side of the mineshaft. He then sat down, settling himself next to McJones and staring vacantly down the hallway.

They were quiet at first. McJones figured that he'd let Dean direct the conversation, as it was his request to rest. Leaving Dean in charge of any conversation would be an audible suicide, but the seriousness that enveloped Dean led the professor to believe otherwise. He was sure the conversation would seldom devolve into a lewd or anime-related topic.

Finally, Dean gave out a quieter sigh, frowning a bit. "This is insane."

"A vague, broad, and true statement; what exactly do you find insane about this?" McJones asked, fixing his eyes on his spelunking buddy.

Dean rolled his eyes, brushing dark strands of hair out of his face with one hand and flailing the other in a weak attempt to gesture around. "All of this. It's all insane. This world, this mission, these mechanics, these rules. It's all so insane."

McJones nodded thoughtfully, the action provoking Dean to glare at him.

"What?! I agree with you," McJones reasoned, trying not to crack a smile as Dean glowered at him.

"Y'all are such nerds. Y'all have experience. Y'all aren't afraid of dying 'cause you know you won't." Dean turned and scowled at the ground.

"That's a bold generalization Dean. This is Hardcore, for one, with stronger enemies and higher stakes. Experience impacts a sandbox game like this very little, especially with these deadly rules set in stone, no pun intended." McJones replied, reeling a bit at his accidental pun.

A small smile began to form on Dean's lips, but he quickly shook his head and leaned back against the stone behind him, sighing. "It's just... besides surviving, there has been one thing on my mind this entire adventure. Wanna guess what it is?"

McJones feigned deep thought. "Remembering how to make a pickaxe?"

Dean smirked, playfully punching McJones' arm. "No, you nerd, I've been thinking about that bet you made before we started. That one where you said that I was gonna die first."

The professor gave a laugh, full of unease as well as fondness. "If this is about the money, Dean, once we're out, I'm NOT actually paying you. No one ever took me up on that bet."

Dean sighed yet again, though the irritation in his voice was beginning to fade and his usual Dean-ness seemed to be returning. "It's not about the money, Stewart. It's about that stupid bet in general. How y'all just... immediately assumed I was gonna die first."

Closing his eyes, Dean continued. "I've been thinking about that assumption a lot, bro, and it's always at the back of my mind. When Austin came to me and asked me to be a part of this 'Hardcore' series, I purposefully avoiding playing this game before we started so it could be, like, a whole new experience for me. And, oh boy, has it ever been."

"I didn't know anything going in," Dean eyed McJones' diamond pickaxe with an air of bitterness. "I didn't even know how to make a pickaxe, for God's sake. How the hell am I not dead?"

McJones could tell that was a rhetorical question, so he kept his mouth shut and let Dean continue.

"I didn't know what to think of this game and this situation at first. When Jirard died, it was for a stupid reason, and I didn't think much of it. It was when Soah died that I began to actually start freaking out about the stakes of this game. I mean, he actually sorta knew what he was doing." Dean continued, looking very concerned.

"Well, I  _told_  him not to dig straight down..." McJones mused to himself.

Dean paused to glare at McJones for a split-second. "My point is, when Soah, one of the dudes that actually knew what he was doing, died, it hit me. I  _should_  be dead, but I'm not."

McJones expected Dean to continue after that, but, instead, the dark-haired man returned to scowling at the ground.

Discrete comfort was not the professor's best skill, but he sighed and attempted to offer some anyway. "Dean... listen. No one here is perfect. Not me, not you, not Austin, Jon or Barry, not Jirard or Soah."

Dean shifted, looking away.

"What you've done was very bold and extremely brave, Dean. You accepted this invitation to play a game you've never played before with difficult rules governing it. It isn't luck that's keeping you alive, it's your skill and you ability to learn quickly." McJones reassured, staring at Dean intently.

Dean suddenly snapped around, a smile on his face, one of confusion as well as amusement. "Yo, my skill? What skill? Don't sugarcoat my actions, Stewart, though I appreciate it."

McJones laughed as he realized what he just said. "Oh, well, all of our skills are in question by this point. What I'm getting at is: don't look at your survival as a disadvantage or purely luck. You're here because you're doing  _something_  right."

"Mmm..." Dean frowned a little, shrugging. "Alright, bro, I'll adjust my thinking process somehow."

McJones could still tell that Dean wasn't exactly back to his normal self, despite the subject of incompetence seemingly being dropped. "Anything else you need to talk about?"

Dean froze and awkwardly looked around, refusing to meet McJones' eyes. "Uhm, sorta, but I'm gonna sound like a really gay scrub if I say it..."

"Go ahead and say it, I won't tell anyone if it's embarrassing or anything." McJones urged.

Taking a deep breath and regaining composure, Dean looked at McJones straight in the eyes. "Thanks for helping me this whole time, Stewart."

"Oh, no problem-" McJones was suddenly cut-off when Dean threw his arms around him, embracing the professor.

The action took McJones completely by surprise, both because of Dean's independence in almost every regard (except when he got lost or didn't know how to craft anything) and because it felt like ages since he had last felt arms around him and a body flush against his own. It actually felt nice, whether because he hadn't been hugged for so long or because it was... Dean... he didn't know. What he did know was that heat was beginning to rise in his face as the usually articulate professor struggled to regain his thoughts.

Before McJones could react or move in any way, as Dean had pinned his arms to his sides, Dean pushed away to the other side of the bench, crossing his arms defensively and laughing nervously. "That's the gayest shit I've done in a while, so I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, nerd."

"I appreciate the gesture, Dean," McJones replied, smirking and punching his arm lightly. "Let's get back to mining now; these caves aren't going to dig themselves."

Dean sighed and stood up, stretching luxuriously. "Alright, Professor McJones, you know best." He said, winking with a fond smile on his face.

McJones rolled his eyes and waved Dean off as he pulled out his map, curiosity settling in as he scanned the map to see where they were underground.

"Hey, bro, nu-uh." Dean muttered. Turning to where McJones was sitting, Dean kneeled down, eye level with the professor, casually yanking the map down so that McJones was forced to stare at his face, mere centimeters apart from the professor's.

McJones looked up and glared at Dean, annoyed, but his breath caught in his throat when he realized how close they were.

Distracted, the professor didn't even realize that Dean was cautiously reaching for both of their headsets, turning the volume back up.

Those centimeters became millimeters as Dean smirked.

"Who needs a map?"

An ecstatic reaction shattered McJones' eardrums as the chorus of Jon and Austin suddenly rang from both of their headsets.

"OOOHH I HEARD IT!" Jon shouted, followed by overjoyed giggles.

"What have you guys been doing even?" Austin asked, recovering from the line a lot faster than Jon.

Dean stood back up rather quickly and laughed. "Oh, just mining, and being a lot more productive than you nerds." He winked at McJones one last time as began to head down the mineshaft, back to his own.

"Hey, dude, we killed an Enderman! Now that's what I call productive!" Austin said proudly.

"What he means is  _ **I**_  killed an Enderman, and it dropped no pearl." Barry muttered.

"Barry, you're ruining our dynamic!" Austin whined.

"Charming dynamic, real charming." Jon continued to giggle. "I place my bets on the duo of Dean and Stewart having a better dynamic than the three of us."

"Oh, you nerds have no idea about the intimate spelunking friendship me and McJones have." Dean boasted, busily beginning to mine again. "We are productive as hell, right, bro?"

Regaining composure from the actions prior, McJones smirked to himself, standing up and readying his diamond pickaxe.

"Indeed we are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean: Stewart, take a swan dive.
> 
> McJones: No, Dean, I'm your spelunking buddy.
> 
> Dean: You are.
> 
> McJones: You don't want me to die. Okay, let's start.
> 
> Dean: I love you forever.
> 
> \-- Minecraft HC Season 1, Episode 12


	3. Coal Ladder, Bro (MC HC 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't place a ladder on a block occupied by ore, kiddos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene is based off a hilarious moment in Minecraft Hardcore Season 4, Episodes 8 and 9.

Farming, was it a necessity or a hobby?

All things considered, spawn and otherwise, Jeff would say 'yes' to both.

"C'mere, cows!" he coaxed, slowly waving the bushel of wheat around in the air. Two heads peeked out from over the hill, looking down curiously, before slowly climbing down, mooing. A third one was already avidly following the Shrek-clad lad.

Jeff adored the quaint little islands that he, Austin, Barry, Caddy, Dean, and McJones had spawned on. Despite being in the middle of nowhere, surrounded on all sides by water with little resources, the sextet made good work with what they had. McJones reassured the group that their spawn was actually perfect, as the boss they were preparing to fight lived in the water. With smart maneuvers and usage of resources, the group was able to turn one of the islands into a house (plus a diving board, courtesy of Austin) and another into a farm, cultivating the land for trees and food. Passive animal mobs had just spawned on their farming island, and Jeff made it his mission to fence the cows in as a leather, as well as food, supply.

As Jeff led the cows to a more flattened area, he tried not to laugh at the conversation taking place between his comrades, over his headset.

"So, is anyone placing bets that Dean's anime skin is either a king, a god, or a high school girl?" McJones snickered.

"I have a very distinct feeling  _the anime_ Dean's dressed up as is just some stereotypical male character that exists to fulfill his fantasies," Austin said in a calm tone, very matter a fact. Jeff could here water splashing on Austin's end, and made the assumption that the "King of All Cosmos" had yet to recover from his recent testing trial for his diving board.

"Oh, so Kirito?" Dean groaned. "I'm lovin' the comparison, PBG."

"Wait, what sort of male fantasies are we talking about?" McJones asked, sounding legitimately confused.

"Like, those anime where the main male character is really boring and stuff," Austin tried his best to explain, in his usual, vague, PBG way.

"Yeah, so you can, like, project yourself on them." Dean added.

"Oooh," the realization hit McJones, his tone settling in. "So it's not a gay thing."

Austin started giggling, probably at his brother's immediate assumption. Dean decided to be more up-front. "No, but PBG likes to project himself onto boys a lot."

Everyone snickered at that, Barry finally breaking the conversation. "I don't mean to intrude on you anime appreciation club, but what exactly are we doing next?"

Jeff began placing fence to enclose the cows as McJones spoke, explaining that a group should go down into their mineshaft and mine some obsidian, as obsidian was necessary to build a Nether Portal.

"Alright, Stewart, Dean, let's go!" Austin shouted excitedly. "Barry, Caddy, Jeff, you guys handle the rest of the stuff up here." His voice begun to echo a little bit as he entered the mineshaft.

"Um, I'm going to follow you guys," Caddy said awkwardly. "I stocked up on tools and I have no food... I think I'll be useful...?"

Austin was about to protest, but McJones stopped him. "The more, the merrier, as well as more defense and offense. Barry, you come along, too."

Jeff was just adding some finishing touches to the cow's fenced enclosure when the weight of their current mission suddenly fell on him. He would be left up at the surface  _alone_.

"Do we really need five people?" Dean asked, exasperated at McJones. "What about Jeff?"

"Well, if we all die down there, then I believe in you, Jeff," Austin said assuredly.

Jeff mentally began to panic as he walked down the hilly island, down to the cobblestone bridge connecting to their house island. "I don't even know what to do!"

Jeff's unsure cry fell on deaf ears, the deafness probably caused by a loud  _AAAAGH!_  from Dean.

"Heh, good job, guys, you fell into my trap," McJones said with satisfaction.

"You dick..." Dean mumbled as Austin, Caddy, and Barry laughed the misfortune off.

Jeff ran across the cobblestone bridge back to their house, squids lazily swimming through the shimmering blue water. Despite the luxury of being able to here everyone's voices, Jeff didn't particularly like the idea of being left alone on the surface, just in case something  _did_  go wrong in the mines.

As Jeff climbed up the rocky shore to the house, McJones was attempting to explain the necessity of going to the Nether while the other four squabbled over where the correct path to the obsidian was.

"I'm coming; I'd like to come, too!" Jeff attempted to say, though, he doubted that he was heard amongst the arguing. The spelunking quintet had apparently split into two groups, Barry and Austin down one path, McJones, Dean, and Caddy down the other.

"I like this team. We're 'Team Awesome'," proclaimed Dean, adding a bit of cynicism as he directed his next comment towards Barry and Austin. "You're 'Team Suck It'."

"Wonderfully creative names, Dean. I appreciate the thought and effort you provided." McJones muttered.

Caddy was filled with a burst of enthusiasm, coming across a revelation. "Each team has a king!" he exclaimed, as his skin was the Burger King and Austin's was the King of All Cosmos.

"Yeah!" Austin laughed. "We can sit back and watch as they do all of the work for us."

As the groups bantered about themselves, Jeff had entered the house, fixated on the crafting table in the center of the room. The house constructed was an odd one, to put it bluntly. With the multiple doors leading into the house at different angles, random flowers planted on any visible dirt, the brick construct of modern art in the middle of the room, next to the beds, the line of furnaces on the middle wall, two gaping entrances leading to the mineshaft they created, and the surplus of cobblestone making up the walls made the house anything but normal. Everyone loved it, though, despite the initial concern about constructing an underground house. It was charming, to say the least.

Jeff doubted that he would make it to the groups before they found the right amount of obsidian they needed, so he focused on being convenient instead of offering immediate help. Using wood he had chopped down earlier, he crafted quite a few ladders, his intention to build an easy way up from the ravine the group was heading to. He at least figured that one of the teams was heading to the ravine in question, as McJones, Dean, and Caddy's voices were beginning to echo more than normal and Dean was beginning to scream about lava.

"Well, Dean ruined that path." McJones sighed, the sound of blocks being placed to stop a simultaneous rush of water and lava being heard in the background.

"I DIDN'T, YOU DID!" Dean screeched, defensively. The sounds of Dean attempting to redeem himself were vigorously heard, otherwise known as the constant sounds of lava cooling as he attempted to make obsidian.

Rounding an interior corner of the house, Jeff made his way into and down the confusing mineshaft, avoiding McJones' "trap" and making his way into a, large, torch-lit corridor, several rocky paths stemming out from it. He looked around at the biggest paths, one with small wall of gravel blocking it, but with a clear way to climb over it, and another pathway trailing up.

"Which hole did you guys go through?" Jeff asked, but was met with no answer again. He eventually decided to take the upper path, however uneven it was.

McJones made a satisfied noise. "I found it. Now, guys, watch my back as I mine this stuff, because I am not going to be paying attention to anything else."

"That means we have to protect him fROM THE C **REEPER!** " Dean shouted, a hissing noise beginning to sound from his end. The sound then ceased, and a smug Dean said triumphantly: "Got 'im."

"Alright, I'm now mining, and I'm not watching." McJones warned. The sound of Caddy placing torches every which way began to ring through their headsets.

"How did you guys get down there?" Jeff tried asking again, navigating the path and following the torches. "Is there a secret way?"

"Yes..." McJones began, then pausing for a second.

"...no..."

Everyone chucked at that, even Jeff. Up ahead, he could see a more brightly lit room, hoping it would be the entrance to the ravine.

"Well, piss..." McJones muttered, followed by a sound of an item sizzling in the lava, presumably the obsidian. "It's going to be fun trying to mine here.

"There's a skeleton!" exclaimed a nervous Caddy.

"Okay... GET FUCKED IN THE CORNER, NERD!!" Dead yelled, almost blowing out his mic, and slaying said skeleton. "Got 'im."

A change of tone followed; Dean was shot by a different skeleton, eliciting a startled and equally loud  _OWW!_ , as well as giving McJones a chuckle.

As the skirmishes sounded, Austin and Barry were having their own adventure, leading to dead ends and little ore, though, Barry had at least begun mining obsidian as well. Jeff could hear the exasperation in their voices, as well as the random and sporadic shouts from Dean, who had just killed a bat.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be watching me?" sighed McJones, who had apparently been left alone by Dean and Caddy.

While listening to the conversations, Jeff made his way to the ravine, standing on the ledge. It was deep, with small veins of lava and water flowing out of the walls. However, with carefulness and precision, a ladder could provide a useful way up. Jeff began to place cobblestone to widen the ledge and allow a path to the wall. He left a small hole in the ledge he created, allowing room to place ladder pieces. Jeff then began to place the ladder pieces, starting from the hole to the ceiling, then climbing on said ladder to begin placing ladder pieces below him. The height was dizzying, but he felt a little safer when he saw Dean and Caddy emerge from a hole down below him, presumably the hole where McJones was mining. If he fell, at least his death would be witnessed.

The ladder placement was going smoothly. Hanging on to the rungs, Jeff attempted to place ladders on the two blocks bellow him, one block occupied by coal. While he was successfully able to place the ladder on the bottom one, allowing him to place his feet on the rungs of that ladder piece, the second piece refused to stick onto the coal block.

"Oh, God, oh God..." Jeff muttered to himself, the awkward position and the space provided preventing him from climbing up or slipping down. He continued to try and place the ladder onto the coal block, but to no avail.

He glanced down to where Caddy and Dean were, several blocks below him. Dean was sitting on the edge of the hole, waiting for McJones to finish, and Caddy was running around, attempting to hit a bat out of the air with his sword.

Jeff could tell that, despite the short visible distance, words would be speaking more than actions at this point. "Umm, oh geez, so I guess you can't build a... oh, God..." he said both to himself and as a hint to the two below him.

As Caddy kept swinging at the bat, Jeff could visibly see and audibly hear Dean sigh as he stood up. "What, Jeff... what'd you do?"

Beginning to laugh at the absurdity of it all, Jeff tried to explain, giggles interspersed between his speech. "I... think I'm stuck until someone gets me..."

Dean facepalmed. "Did you fence yourself in?!"

Jeff thought it was comical that Dean still assumed that he was on the surface, but he continued to explain his situation. Or, at least, attempted to explain his situation. "It's just... you can't... build a fence, no, I mean... a  _ladder_... you can't  _place_  a ladder on the... oh, geez... I'm just building a ladder so we can climb back up..."

Caddy stopped his bat assault as Dean began to run towards him, shoulders slumped. "Someone go get him..."

"Do you know where I am?" Jeff asked, nervously laughing.

"No," Dean muttered, looking around the cave, Caddy following suite.

The stupidity of the situation reached Jeff as he began to laugh even more. "Look above you."

Finally, Dean and Caddy craned their necks and looked up, eyes widening when they saw Jeff's predicament. The reactions were to be expected; Dean doubling over in laughter while Caddy immediately rushed over to a waterfall across from the ladder, attempting to swim up it.

"Please build a platform under me..." Jeff pleaded, giving up on placing ladder and becoming a sitting duck.

"I'm climbing up the waterfall!" Caddy reassured, struggling to swim up.

"No, don't do that!" Austin cried out, also emerging from the hole. "That's what he did!"

Jeff assumed that Austin hadn't gotten the whole story, but he wasn't too keen on explaining it again, both due to adrenalin and fear. "Please, just build a platform under me... I'm scared!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Dean muttered, beginning to place cobblestone to the left of Jeff and heighten himself to Jeff's level. Austin began vigorously building a cobblestone tower as well, on the right.

"Rescue mission~" Austin began to sing. "Oh, you already got him."

Dean had gotten a head start, and had begun placing blocks surrounding the ladder, subsequently making a ledge. Finally, Jeff let go of the ladder, cautiously placing his feet on the rocky blocks, shimmying over the ledge Dean had created.

However, as Jeff landed on the ledge, something apparently didn't look right to Dean, as he muttered something and begun absentmindedly mining the block that was under Jeff...

"OoHHHHH!!" Jeff screamed as the block crumbled from beneath him. He began free falling, but used the momentum and the closeness to the wall to land inside a different, natural ledge. The impact still hurt, but it only left him with mild pain and slight dizziness then what a full fall would've potentially done. He pulled out some cooked mutton and quickly ate it to recover some strength.

As Austin looked down at the situation with pity and relief, mining downwards, Dean was taking it in his normal Dean-way.

"HO, MAN, MY HEART..." Dean gasped, eyes wide as he began breaking apart his poorly constructed cobblestone tower to get closer to Jeff's ledge-level. "I THOUGHT I JUST MURDERED MY FRIEND..."

Jeff, himself, got over his bout of dizziness and begun placing cobblestone blocks outside of the ledge he was on, reaching out to Dean's side. As he did so, McJones seemed to finally be paying attention to what was going on, as he chimed in. "What happened?"

Now it was Dean's turn to have trouble explaining things. "I-I knocked a block out... from under him," Dean laughed, clutching his heart and leaning against the wall. McJones also began to laugh, the two collapsing into a simultaneous giggle fit despite the distance.

"He's trying to murder me, basically," Jeff said in a completely serious tone, in jest, while beginning to place more blocks down to the ground to continue the ladder.

Taking more time to recover from the scare than Jeff did, Dean gave a long, audible sigh. "Ughh, that was  _terrifying_." He made his way over to Jeff's ledge, and the two built a cobblestone staircase down to the bottom of the ravine, where Caddy and Austin were waiting. Their return was greeted by Austin patting Jeff on the back and playfully punching Dean, as well as Caddy still looking up, nervously.

Despite the near-death situation that just occurred, Austin was ready to move on. "Nether time?" he asked curiously, peering down the hole McJones was in.

"I think we have enough. Barry has, like, ten, and I have a whole bunch." McJones responded, emerging from the hole. He was followed by Barry, who, upon seeing Jeff, gave a thumbs up.

"So, Nether time?" Austin asked giddily, beginning to bounce in place.

Everyone nodded in agreement, besides Dean, who was still giggling like crazy. The discrepancy among the group made McJones sigh, as he approached Dean and grabbed his arm, dragging him away from the others. "C'mon, let's go back to the house."

"Do we have to dig our way up?" asked Caddy, glancing between McJones and the high wall.

"Wait, guys," Jeff butted in. He took out his ladder pieces, as well as his stone pickaxe. "You got yourselves a ladder and some coal, coming right up!"

\---

"...this strikes me as not safe..."

Jeff, Dean, and Austin had already made their way up Jeff's ladder, but McJones was a little hesitant as he began to climb. "I am not comfortable with this ladder..."

Jeff glanced down at McJones as he climbed, assuming the fear was instilled by the ladder's height and possibility of a skeleton shooting any climbers off. "Eh, I'll make it safer at some point."

After McJones reached the top, Caddy followed soon after. "Rise, my child..." he said hynotically as he ascended.

Once the six were all together again, they made their way through the rocky path, back to their house, McJones taking the lead.

"Hey, guys," Dean said, smirking a little. "I guess you could say that Jeff made a pretty  _coal_  ladder. Get it? Like  _cool_."

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. McJones turned to shoot a deadly glare at Dean, who had begun giggling at his own horrible joke. Caddy and Austin legitimately laughed (though Austin laughed more at McJones' reaction), Barry merely shook his head and smiled, and Jeff sighed, slinging an arm around Dean.

"I know I could have stayed up on the surface opposed to come down here with you guys..." Jeff began, winking at his friends. "But I'm glad I chose the  _ladder_."

Everyone collectively burst into laughter at that one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Austin: At least one or two of you guys need to die, so we can schedule the next recording easier.
> 
> \-- Minecraft HC Season 4, Episode 9


End file.
